{"id":16409,"date":"2019-01-24T14:35:02","date_gmt":"2019-01-24T19:35:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/?p=16409"},"modified":"2022-11-20T00:17:33","modified_gmt":"2022-11-20T05:17:33","slug":"chastity-belt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/","title":{"rendered":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt"},"content":{"rendered":"

Arguably one of the finest films in American movie history is the 1993 classic, Robin Hood: Men in Tights<\/i>. It has everything: a young Dave Chappelle, Cary Elwes, a cute little circumcision guillotine, and, of course, Marian\u2019s Everlast-brand chastity belt<\/strong>, which proves impervious to the Sheriff (or Shire Reeve, if you\u2019re old school) of Nottingham\u2019s lecherous, literal jackhammering.<\/p>\n

The common perception of the chastity belt is this: medieval metal underwear with a lock and key. The idea was that a husband, headed off to the Crusades, would lock up his wife\u2019s lower lady-parts while he was off on a campaign for a very long time, effectively cockblocking any would-be interlopers seeking comfort with the lonely wife.<\/p>\n

But back to Robin Hood: Men in Tights. <\/i>What could we ever hope to learn about medieval people from crude, innuendous farce? Loads, actually\u2014that\u2019s the kind of comedy medieval people often left behind in their written stories. Phalluses, b-hole kissing, horny clergy, adultery, and explicit body humor can all be found in Chaucer\u2019s writing alone. And the real-life chastity belts that inspired the Everlast padlock undies in the movie? They were just as much of a joke in the 16th century as they were in 1993.<\/p>\n

The Woman in the Iron Undies, aka the Chastity Belt<\/h3>\n

Take a moment to flit those eyeballs of yours over the following engraving:<\/p>\n

\"The
The O.G. chastity belt<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This engraving was made around the last quarter of the 16th century, so it\u2019s historical enough to be safe for work, despite the partial nudity. While there are a number of old chastity belts in museums (we\u2019ll get to that in the next section), this right here is the real<\/i> chastity belt: a concept devised for the Renaissance equivalent of a Playboy<\/i> cartoon. The artist would make a woodcut, print up copies, and distribute them to the masses, much like a newspaper extra (or, if you\u2019re reading this article in the 21st century, a meme). Hell, you didn\u2019t even need to be literate to figure these out\u2014I mean, I can get the jist and I can\u2019t even read Early New High German.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot happening in this mise-en-sc\u00e8ne<\/i>, so let\u2019s do a little rundown. Sitting on the bed is the naked wife, wearing only a chastity belt\u2014with it locked, she hands the key to her husband. The husband is all dressed up in the 16th-century version of a clever suit, complete with his walkin\u2019-around sword (cough\u2014phallus<\/i>\u2014cough). He takes the key as he prepares to leave the house for a work trip. While on this trip, he will have the peace of mind of knowing that his wife couldn\u2019t possibly cheat on him while he\u2019s gone, since she\u2019s locked up her private parts and given him the only key that he\u2019s aware of. The husband seems to have some trust issues\u2014but then, his wife does<\/i> seem to enjoy chilling in the nude while male guests bustle about the house, so his concerns may have merit.<\/p>\n

Sprouted from the husband\u2019s brimmed hat are two donkey ears. To the medieval (that includes Renaissance) picture-reader, those would be \u201cfool\u2019s ears\u201d\u2014the ears of a cuckold. Two other dudes are at left, lurking in the shadows, holding a key of their own. They\u2019re staring at something and, perspective be damned, I\u2019d say it\u2019s the naked lady in the room.<\/p>\n

At bottom right is another figure with donkey-cuckold ears. This fella is more clearly a jester-type, and this dumb motherf***er is trying to pour lice into a wicker basket. Why? Because trying to force your wife not to cheat on you is about as effective as keeping tiny bugs in a basket made out of sticks and holes. And why isn\u2019t it effective? Because other men\u2014shadow<\/i> men\u2014also have keys.<\/p>\n

The chastity belt, then, represents a fool\u2019s errand\u2014rather than something that could ever have worked. <\/span>1<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/span>2<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

For good measure, here\u2019s one more:<\/p>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

This 16th-century German woodcut is even more direct. This lady\u2019s wearing a similar chastity belt (and even what looks like the same necklace). She has one hand in her husband\u2019s coin purse, and the other in the hand of a young suitor who holds the key to her belt. <\/span>3<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Forged Chastity Belts?<\/h3>\n

\u201cLook, guy\u2014I\u2019ve seen real, historical examples of iron chastity belts in museums. So shut up,\u201d you might be saying under your breath as you read this article. Well, I\u2019m glad you\u2019ve attacked me, because it leads to my next point: museum chastity belts are fakes.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014many of these chastity belts are in museums for good reason, given that they date back to the 18th or 19th centuries, in some cases. But they are historical examples of fake artifacts, likely meant to be displayed as curios from the recent, stupid past. Maybe you\u2019d put one on your coffee table.<\/p>\n

That all makes good sense, until you start to really think about what wearing a piece of iron around your private parts for long periods of time (a crusading husband might be gone for years, or perhaps forever, for example) would do to the belt and the person wearing it.<\/p>\n

One thing to consider is that stainless steel wasn\u2019t invented until 1913\u2014any iron or even steel chastity belt, made during the 15th century and placed in prolonged contact with skin, sweat, your bodily fluids, and oxygen, is going to rust something fierce. <\/span>4<\/sup><\/a><\/span> Hell, even linens need to be changed regularly if you don\u2019t want to develop contact sores on your body, and those are soft. By definition, you can\u2019t take a chastity belt off (or what\u2019s the point?), so you can\u2019t clean and oil it, or give your skin a break. I\u2019m definitely not a doctor, but you\u2019d probably die from infected chafing. Or you could just, like, get a locksmith, or straight-up break the thing well before that ever happened.<\/p>\n

So Why the Renaissance Cartoons? Why the Later-Period Forgeries of Chastity Belts?<\/h3>\n

As is true with a lot of the weird shit we find in medieval \u201clow\u201d art, these folks were just having a laugh\u2014particularly at the expense of rich old dudes with young wives. Why is it funny to think about these old sugar daddies being used for their money and then cheated on? I can\u2019t say for certain, but I\u2019d chalk it up to resentment of the old and wealthy, and a penchant for schadenfreude. Or maybe it\u2019s just poking fun at the wilfully delusional\u2014old, wealthy men who believe they can buy the love of a woman half their age. It\u2019s a character archetype we continue to rip on to this day.<\/p>\n

As for the 18th- and 19th-century forgeries? Well, people like to make fun of their ancestors for two reasons: One is that our ancestors can\u2019t defend themselves because they\u2019re long dead. The other is that making our forebears look dumb and backwards makes us look even smarter and more advanced by the comparison. It\u2019s textbook narcissism: tearing others down in order to lift ourselves up.<\/p>\n

Given that logic, are not flat Earthers the true heroes of our modern era? In their fight to prove that the Earth is not round, they have retrograded our medieval predecessors, who actually knew that it was. It proves that medieval people weren\u2019t as dumb as some would like to think\u2014and that backwards thinking knows no chronological bounds. <\/span>5<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we’ve got bad news for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":16414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[333,274],"tags":[],"acf":{"show_faq":false,"faq_title":"","faq_description":"","faq_list_item":null},"yoast_head":"\nThe Real Story of the Chastity Belt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Museum Hack\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MuseumHack\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/chastitybeltseo.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"235\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Alex Johnson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/chastitybeltseo.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@museumhack\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@museumhack\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Alex Johnson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Alex Johnson\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/88b95ff2dc55a8c5092851c81dd963fa\"},\"headline\":\"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\"},\"wordCount\":1403,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"History\",\"Stories\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\",\"name\":\"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00\",\"description\":\"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/\",\"name\":\"Museum Hack\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Museum Hack\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/museumhack.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/museumhack.png\",\"width\":1010,\"height\":352,\"caption\":\"Museum Hack\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MuseumHack\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/museumhack\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/museumhack\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/museum-hack\/\",\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/museumhack\/\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/museumhack\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/88b95ff2dc55a8c5092851c81dd963fa\",\"name\":\"Alex Johnson\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/510dd929f5340a57a279d9f0fe754e2e?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fmuseumhack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwp-bootstrap-4%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Favatars%2F2.jpg&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/510dd929f5340a57a279d9f0fe754e2e?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fmuseumhack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwp-bootstrap-4%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Favatars%2F2.jpg&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Alex Johnson\"},\"description\":\"Content Writer\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/author\/alex\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt","description":"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt","og_description":"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.","og_url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/","og_site_name":"Museum Hack","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MuseumHack\/","article_published_time":"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00","og_image":[{"width":450,"height":235,"url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/chastitybeltseo.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Alex Johnson","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_image":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/chastitybeltseo.png","twitter_creator":"@museumhack","twitter_site":"@museumhack","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Alex Johnson","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/"},"author":{"name":"Alex Johnson","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/88b95ff2dc55a8c5092851c81dd963fa"},"headline":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt","datePublished":"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00","dateModified":"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/"},"wordCount":1403,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization"},"articleSection":["History","Stories"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/","url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/","name":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2019-01-24T19:35:02+00:00","dateModified":"2022-11-20T05:17:33+00:00","description":"If you're into historically accurate medieval BDSM, we've got bad news for you. Here's the real history behind the chastity belt.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/chastity-belt\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Real Story of the Chastity Belt"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/","name":"Museum Hack","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#organization","name":"Museum Hack","url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/museumhack.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/museumhack.png","width":1010,"height":352,"caption":"Museum Hack"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MuseumHack\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/museumhack","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/museumhack\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/museum-hack\/","https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/museumhack\/","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/museumhack"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/88b95ff2dc55a8c5092851c81dd963fa","name":"Alex Johnson","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/510dd929f5340a57a279d9f0fe754e2e?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fmuseumhack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwp-bootstrap-4%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Favatars%2F2.jpg&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/510dd929f5340a57a279d9f0fe754e2e?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fmuseumhack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwp-bootstrap-4%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Favatars%2F2.jpg&r=g","caption":"Alex Johnson"},"description":"Content Writer","url":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/author\/alex\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16409"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16409"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23227,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16409\/revisions\/23227"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/museumhack.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}